And There You Have It

Goals. Goals are good. Triathlons. Triathlons are good. They fit right in with the whole goal thing. What doesn't fit in to this scene is getting a head cold. A serious, achey all over the body - like don't try to be sweet and rub my back because I'll freak out due to sensitive back skin, sinuses too clogged up to allow for blowing and yet seem to drip uncontrollably, sore throat ripping through to your ear drums, and drain all energy from the mother ship, kind of head cold.

Thursday. Wake up with Fire Throat and energy wavers off and on throughout the day. Still able to function.

Friday. Fire Throat still lingers past nine a.m. and energy is almost completely depleted, but that's okay because the bed catches my fall and I don't move until one o'clock in the afternoon. Even then, the only movement is from my bed to the bathroom and back to bed. By Friday night I am feeling a bit better. At least I manage to emerge from the sick bed to do the dishes.

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008. The day I have been waiting for all summer. The big day that I used to push myself under water over and over again. The day I remembered in the back of my head when I felt like bagging the whole swim thing and biking for the rest of my life. The day that haunted me for the entire summer and the day I actually began to look forward to...

And, the day I didn't show up for a triathlon due to inflamed sinuses, lack of mobilization and a head-cold hangover! AND, the day I forfeited a $40 registration fee.

Don't talk to me, I'm still really, REALLY mad.

Halleluhah!

I have been stressing about this race, especially the swimming part. I got online to check the rules and such, since I am only days away, and wouldn't you know it...I was wrong in my calculations! I have been swimming 1/4 mile swim for the last couple of months to get ready for this and discovered I only have to do half that! I couldn't be more relieved. I will still look funny, but at least I am only going to look funny for 1/8 mile instead of double that. Yes!

Triathlon Update

Some of you have asked, and for those that are interested, here is an update on how my triathlon training is coming along:


Biking Part - I have always loved biking and could go all day. I timed myself the other day and on a gradual incline, facing a head wind, on a mountain bike that slows me down, I made it just over three miles in 12 minutes. I'm sure that's not much to the pros, but I'll take it.

Running Part - I don't love running that much, but I have finally conquered being able to run 2 measley miles without collapsing and gasping for my life. I know that isn't real impressive, but I only have to run 1.7 miles for the race.

Swimming Part - I am going to drown.


I am pretty sure that when this race is over, I'll stick to bike tours and NO races. I don't mind training for the Speedy Spaniard, but I would be surprised if I ever signed up to actually do it. Who needs the pressure? And as far as swimming goes, I am just glad to say when this summer is over, I can stick my face under water without invoking sheer panic. Mission accomplished.

Official Welcome

This is an official welcome to our new kitty, Smokey (a.k.a. Stupid Cat). He showed up in our hedge a month ago. I went looking for a baby robin with a broken wing, attempting to tape it up and save it's life, when this little guy was discovered. He was skinny, crying and nestled in the hedge. I took him out and immediately Allison took to him. She fed him and carried him around all night long. The following three days resulted in begging and pleading to keep the cat. When we told her she would most likely have to get rid of him, she cried herself to sleep until 1 AM.

She and her friend, Taylor, promised to take care of this kitty. Play with him, feed him, clean up after his little "messes". You know, the typical kid-trying-to-suck-their-parents-in drill. They even made me a little card letting me know that they had named him and that even though I could take him away, I could never take their love for him away. It was real pathetic and cute and it worked. We caved and Richard even came home from work an hour early one day to help them make a cat house.

Gavin wasn't happy about it at all. He was afraid we wouldn't love Kolibar anymore. He is adjusting now, but he still makes special efforts to pamper Kolibar more than normal.

Allison named him Smokey, but Richard will call him "Stupid Cat" for the rest of his little life.

Hmmm...Go on a Cruise or Get a New Roof? It's A Toss Up!

I hate spending money on home repairs like new windows or a new roof. It's expensive and no fun comes from it. And not only was the new roof not our favorite allocation of funds, it also came with burn spots on our perfectly green grass. It's been a month and a half since we had this done and I am still waiting for the grass to come out of it. (It might go faster if the heat wasn't doing us in). However, the turtle vents have made it much nicer upstairs in the summer time, so I won't complain there.

Anyway, here's a few pictures of the new roof.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Happy Anniversary To Us!

On July 15th we woke up at 7:30am to a surprise on our front sidewalk. Yes, the front sidewalk. The kids had been up since 6 AM coloring a sign and creating the mood. They had set up a perfect breakfast for us in celebration of our anniversary. Not wanting to share our special breakfast with all passers by, Richard gently asked Gavin if he would move the table to the side yard. Then Allison proceeded to be our waitress while Gavin prepared everything in the kitchen. We didn't know exactly what we were ordering because of the way the menu was written up and it was cold french toast, but it was made with lots of love~and we loved it!

FFA

Laughing gas at the dentist office...





Let's start with the nose piece that "fits" snugly over your nose to allow proper inhalation. Mine never fits right. There is always a small gap that allows air to escape and jet stream right into my left eye. Always the left eye. I end up pinching the rubber in order to keep my eye ball from drying out. It can be quite uncomfortable.

And does anyone else ever lose their hearing while high? I can never hear the darn television and I end up cranking the volume in order to drown out the drilling sound of dentist tools. (Not that it matters whether or not I can hear anything, the light above my head always ends up being right in the way of the TV.)

My favorite is my never-ending, ever faithful need to pee within 15-20 minutes of initial gas intake. And usually during the drilling, thus postponing my potty break until a more convenient time (an hour later...). Or maybe it's the slight nausea and spinning that comes on when I take too many deep breaths. Of course, these are all very slight inconveniences compared to the bonuses involved. I can't do anything at the dentist without pumping up on happiness.

I caught myself actually laughing out loud once. The hygienists must be thoroughly entertained with all their gassy patients. Although, it occurs to me that perhaps the reason they're all so friendly is because the gas leaks through and permeates the entire office. I swear I can get high in there without ever hooking up.

I have been in enough times now that I know what kind of shows are the best on gas. And it's fairly obvious which ones were written while people were "extra happy". The real normal stuff makes no sense, but everything on VHS or MTV is like watching a movie with 3-D glasses on...a completely different dimension. But I will warn you not to watch I Love Lucy. I have NEVER liked that show, but the other day while trying to find something on daytime television, I ended up on I Love Lucy while I waited for my cleaning to be done. That show is laugh out loud funny when you're intoxicated! In fact, I have decided they probably wrote the script while on something. That whiny little red head actually made me laugh. In fact I ended up changing the channel in order to keep from embarrassing myself.

Laughing Gas. I can't survive the dentist's office without it and it always makes me wonder...will there ever come a time, perhaps in the hereafter, when we can "legally" get high anytime we want? Because I simply love the stuff! And perhaps it's because I have had way too many dental experiences. At this point in my mouth, I can't rinse warm water throughout my teeth without their sensitivity shooting me through the roof. If it weren't for the gas, I'd never see the dentist and continue to rot my teeth out. Praise be to Nitrous Oxide.

FFA

Freewrite on the old cliche, "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse."

I wasn't quite sure how to freewrite on an old adage that I have never heard of. (Don't laugh.) We'll have to delve into the literal meaning of this "well known" quote from Shakespeare.

Who gives up an entire kingdom for a horse? Is this horse famous? Does he have magical powers? Either this horse is especially fantastic or the king willing to give up his kingdom on a whim is an idiot. Did he lose his horse and forget to bring a spare? You can never be too prepared in times such as these when a horse will come in so handy that you're willing to give up everything you possess to get another one. Bring two, dummy, and keep your kingdom. Never underestimate the power of preparedness.

Perhaps the kingdom being referred to here is nothing but a small section of swamp and mudlands, in which case, I'd definately take the horse and not feel sorry for the poor sap who gave me his horse in exchange. Maybe this king isn't an idiot, but a crafty businessman practicing the art of screwed up capitalism. Cunning and crafty are the ways of most successful businessmen. I'd bet this king would win at the game of Monopoly.

Does this king ever get a horse? Perhaps I should have done some research before trying to attempt a freewrite on such a topic. Let's just say he does get his horse. I hope that horse has good teeth, sweet breath and a warm body because the king no longer has a place to stay and this new horse of his has just become his new best friend. Be kind, King, be kind. He's all you've got in this world and he's likely to be far less foolish than you.

FFA

What is something you are completely fantastic at, and what is something you are really crappy at?

I've decided to write according to my first thoughts and then follow-through without any consideration as to what I'm actually writing about because...

I am completely fantastic, and I mean FANTASTIC, at blurting out randomness. It doesn't even qualify as talking, really. If you need someone to change the topic on a whim and at 2 minute intervals, I'm your gal!

This ability has been in development for many years...when I was girl a common phrase was, "Carillisa, only tell me if you'd write it in your journal." Little did my father know, I wrote even more in my journal than I talked. After that discovery was made, the phrase changed to, "Go write it in your journal".

I am so good at what I do, I've decided I might bank on my talent and make a few extra bucks for my services. For instance, if you need someone to fill in empty talk time at a party, that can be arranged (for a minimal fee). If you need me to stand in as you argue with someone, I could prove very handy at interrupting and prohibiting any words in edge-wise. And because I have an opinion on just about everything (whether it's right or wrong), I have an endless source of material. Or perhaps you are in need of a good laugh, the good harty "laugh at someone, not with them" kind, in which case, I can do that too (of course, this one might cost more due to humiliation inflation). In fact, this last service might even be my best. All I have to do is open my mouth and start talking, the rest takes care of itself! "Open mouth and insert foot" is never wasted on me.

And as for the second part of the topic, what are you really crappy at? That's easy!

SHUTTING UP.

You Know Your Daughter Has Diabetes When...

...you pick her up at her friend's house and the girls have spent their evening pretending all their dolls have diabetes. They use old syringes, without needles, to give the shots and even pull out the emergency glycagon kit when one of the doll's sugars drops so low she almost goes into a coma! (That particular doll was lying very quiet on the couch, "recovering".)

Another Trip Log...

While we were in New Jersey, we took a Sunday walk around the river. It was beautiful and exactly what I'd want my heaven to look like. Lucky David and Natalie...they only live a mile away from this scenic getaway. Everything was in bloom and simply breathtaking. We could have stayed there all day.




I took this for dad. It reminded me of Anne of Green Gables.




This is someone's lane to their home.



For me, this walk was one of the highlights of the whole trip.

FFA

When technology goes too far...



Cosmetic Surgery.

I know there are many cases when this is a wonderful thing. I have seen lots of people benefit from it's applications. My only complaint, and I'll admit, it's a big one, is when people can't leave it alone. Here's some tidbits to nibble on:

In 2007, men and women combined had a total of:

Liposuction 456,828
Botox 2,775,176
Breast augmentation 399,440
Hyaluronic Acid (Hylaform, Juvederm, Restylane) 1,448,716
Eyelid surgery 240,763
Laser Hair Removal 1,412,657
Abdominoplasty 185,335
Microdermabrasion 829,658
Female breast reduction 153,087
Laser Skin Resurfacing 647,707

In 2002, the total number of elective breast augmentations was 32,000 and that seemed incredible to me. 399,440 is unbelievable.

It's quite addictive and why not? If I had the money and could fix every little flaw, I'd be quite tempted. And I am not objected to a little tummy tuck or a possible lift (heck, if I thought Richard wouldn't object too much, I'd probably opt for a fabulous reduction!) And laser hair removal? Sounds good to me, but when I am fifty, I should look fifty. When I'm eighty, I NEED to look eighty. It's just not natural folks! Besides, if we can just be patient - we're all gonna get brand new bodies to flaunt around in.



In my opinion, this technology can easily go too far.

Plumbing - And It's Various...Um, "Applications"

Gavin and his father were working out in the garden last week figuring out the best solution for watering. Richard had various plumbing parts laying around and he asked Gavin to grab him a female connector, not the male one. (I'd definately prefer different names for these plumbing parts, but I guess I missed that meeting). So, Gavin hands him the part and then asks what all 11 year boys would ask, "Dad, why do they call them male and female?" A great question and thankfully Richard was on duty to answer it.

He explained the differences and how one part will fit nicely into another. At that precise moment, the lightbulb went on in that enlightened brain of Gavin's and he said, "Oh, yeah! Just like in real life."

Yes, Gavin. Just like in Real Life. I'll bet you never look at plumbing parts the same again.

FFA - Week # (Oh, I don't even remember!)

I am way behind in our FFA topics and I am not sure I should even try to catch up, but I don't want to be banned or anything (not that it's possible). Besides, I really liked this topic.

This particular week's topic: Who should play you in the movie version of your life?

At first, I didn't know. I hadn't really thought of it. So, what does one do when they are in a stump? Ask the closest person sitting next to them. That happened to be Richard. His answer: Selma Hayek.



Yeah. I know. We only have one thing in common and mine need to be "altered", but a boy can dream can't he? Dream on, I say, while you do the dishes!

I also thought of Bree Hodge from Desperate Housewives. She doesn't look a bit like me, but her personality on the show might resemble me a tad. She is religeous, she likes to bake and host parties and if things aren't in the right order, she'll lose it. I brought this up to Richard and he reminded me that she is also very manipulative and deceitful. Strike Two.

So, I thought I would let you, my faithful blog readers, decide what you think. Growing up I always had people tell me I looked like Candice Cameron (DJ from Full House). I wasn't much of a Full House fan, but I did have long hair.

The other candidate is Kellie Martin. Now I did watch Life Goes On quite faithfully. Many people told me I looked like her as well. I had the same round glasses and the short barrel rolled hair (I thought of posting a photo, but I confess, it's too embarrassing.)

Would you pick one of these or is there someone else that would fit the mold better? Oh, and Bree Hodge is off the docket. I might be slightly manipulative, but definately not deceitful.

Meet Tyker

Richard just hired a guy a few weeks ago and in talking with him, discovered he has a little hobby. He officially weds pets. Tycker is the reverend with real, certified sealing abilities. Anyway, check out the link on the side bar. It's pretty hilarious! And if you begin to wonder if it's real or not, check out the wedding album.

Triathlon Training: Day #2

On Monday, I thought I'd see how well I was conditioned for the biking portion of the triathlon. I didn't do too bad, but I have been practicing. Today, I thought I would venture out and try the swimming. As for how I did with that, you be the judge.

I started off by purchasing a swim cap and some goggles. One of the things I hate about swimming (I know, I used the word "hate" and still think I am going to try for the triathlon) is my long hair getting all wet and full of chlorine. The cap would make this experience much better. I picked blue, my favorite color, for luck.

I have never taken official swim lessons. I don't know a single stroke, except the Don't Sink and I still have to hold my nose with my fingers when I jump into the water. I've never liked the water and definitely have never felt comfortable bobbing around in it. Perhaps these issues are why I am feeling the strong desire to conquer my fear of water and do this race. I'm sure everyone goes from no swimming experience to triathlon in a little over a year...

Orem Fitness Center was my desired location this morning. I hadn't been in over ten years and I remembered that it had a decent sized pool. On my drive over, I was really wishing I wasn't going alone. When I got there, everything was changed around. I paused to gather my bearings, walked into the locker room and ran right into a naked old lady, the first of three on my journey. Yup. That's the other reason I don't like swimming. There's walls and walls of stalls with doors, but no one seems to care.

My locker was chosen inside the stall so I could do all my changing completely obscure. And as soon as my socks came off I remembered another reason. Bare feet touching the cold, wet locker room floor, swimming in other peoples' foot water! Um, yeah...skin crawling. Germs clinging.

Have you ever tried to put on a swim cap? I hadn't and I felt like a complete idiot trying to get it to work. I pulled it over my ponytail and ended up with a lop-sided tumor bulging off the side of my cap. I tried again, but the thickness of my hair was making it nearly impossible. I struggled for five minutes before I finally pulled real hard and snapped it on, hair whisping out all over. I was grateful for the goggles that helped hold the cap on. Together the two helped me look the part and I semi-confidently walked into the pool room. My goal was to time myself and see how long I could swim without stopping. You know, check my endurance. I jumped in the water and started the timer.

One lap across the distance of the pool was all it took for my lungs to collapse. Three measly minutes of kicking and arm waving. The confidence I had gained from the goggles had just warn off, but I paid $3.50 to get in and I didn't want to waste my money. So, I took a small rest and headed back down the length of the pool, on my back.

About half-way down, I was stopped by a leathery-looking, old man with a saggy tattoo on his left shoulder. He smiled at me and I tried to focus on him through my foggy goggles. He said, "Lady, you should try kicking with your legs and not your knees, you'll go faster." I laughed inwardly and thanked him for the tip, and at the same time stupidly admitted I didn't know what I was doing (dumb, dumb girl! As if that wasn't completely obvious already.) He took that opportunity to encourage me to take deep breaths and fill my whole body full of air, even my capillaries. I'd float better, he said. Again I thanked him and kicked with my legs all the way back to lonely safety. I couldn't help but wonder if my whole swimming person shouted out novice to everyone in the pool. Maybe I should've worn a sign!

With each pass, my legs hurt and I felt more and more awkward trying to use my legs and not my knees. Not to mention, every time I went by I got a "thumbs up" from my coach, who was sitting in the jacuzzi with four other old men. I wondered if Coach happened to catch me when I choked on pool water and sputtered for my last breath of air.

Twenty-five minutes. I had given up a non-stop swim early on, but I wanted to at least get in thirty minutes. If only my goggles weren't so foggy. It was driving me crazy. I should have asked Coach on my last lap what to do about them. I took them off to investigate. And wouldn't you know it...I figured out the problem all on my own. I had forgotten to take the little clear vinyl covering off the fronts of my eyeballs! The ones that clearly state, "please remove before use". Oh, how I wished there was someone there to laugh with me and not at me. I had already talked to four different people thus far.

On my last lap across the pool, I was splashed with hot water from the jacuzzi. I think this was the third time I'd been splashed, but I couldn't be sure. From the amount of water that hit me, this time must have come from all four men pulling their efforts. I stood up and stopped. I got a double thumbs-up from Coach, "You're doin' real good out there. Lookin' better!"

Thanks. I'm done. Humiliated and DONE!

I walked into the locker room, barely missing another naked woman, and went to take my cap off, if indeed that sucker would come off. As I stood in the mirror looking at my miserable self, I stretched the cap off my head. Water gushed out and poured down my head and all over my body. What the...!

My eyes hadn't recovered from viewing naked, sagging breasts, my nostrils could do nothing but smell chlorine, my feet were being infested by microscopic stranger-foot-germs and my hair was soaked through with pool water!

Maybe I'll try for a DUATHLON. Anybody?

Anybody?

So, I want to do a triathlon next year, the one in Salem. Is there anybody out there that would participate with me? I am finding it hard to get willing bodies. It would take place in June, so we'd have the whole year to train. I have never done one, so I am not quite sure what it entails, but I am pretty excited at the prospect. I just need company.

FFA Week #9

Topic: What family traditions can you live without?

This particular tradition was introduced to me a short time after I was married. Richard and I were sitting at the kitchen table of his parent's home playing cards with our friends and my brother-in-law. It was a good clean card game, 5 Card Draw or Blackjack, I can't remember, but we weren't using the family-approved Rook cards. The cards in use had been smuggled in and worked much better.

We were having a great time snacking and enjoying the company, no one winning or losing because we weren't using money or even chips, when the garage door announced the arrival of parents. The look on my husband's face, as well as his brother's, was classic. Sheer panic flashed through their eyes. Immediately, the game came to an abrupt hault, cards began to fly and in less than 15 seconds flat, the cards in our hands had been replaced with old, jumbo "Follow The Prophet" cards (Yeah, I'd never heard of them either). Three of us sat there in awe and confusion as these two brothers expertly hid the taboo cards and replaced them with the next best thing within a quick reach. As my in-laws reached the top step, us twenty-five to thirty year olds were settled and playing a mock game of Go Fish with our prophet cards. And only two of us even broke a sweat. Never in my life had I witnessed an event that could cause two grown men to run for their lives over a deck of cards.

Traditionally, there is one kind of card that is not to be enjoyed within the walls of the Bean Home. I know this is not terribly unusual for some households, but it's a tradition we chose to live without. However, for those special occassions when Rook cards just won't do, we finally found an alternative that can be played at family reunions. Thank you M&M World. Pinochle can still live on!

Niagra Falls - The Next Stop

After Palmyra, we drove to Niagra Falls. It was still full of ice chunks and a little chilly, but very impressive. After viewing the falls, we went into to Canada and had lunch. Gavin found a Canadian penny and thought that was pretty cool. Interesting: the United States side is very natural looking and the Canadian side is cement and commercialism. Quite the contrast.








I call this our "engagement" shot, but despite it's cheesiness,
I'm still posting it. (Truthfully, I sat up there to hide half my
body in the hopes I might look less "bulky". A girl can try.)

(Maybe by next year, I'll have posted this trip in full! One day at a time, one day at a time.)