Friday, March 21, 2008

FFA -(Friday Free for All)

TOPIC: For reasons beyond your powers to comprehend, you know that you will soon become the sole survivor of a trans-Atlantic plane crash and will be stranded on a desert island. You do not question your new-found psychic powers, but instead, you start packing the essentials. What 10 things will you take with you?

In order of importance:

1. A HARDBACK COPY OF ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS. This is the only survival guide I’ll need. If she can do it, I can do it! And if it proves to be worthless in times of desperation, I can always convert the hard cover into a fashionable covering to protect my head from the blistering, tropic sun and then burn the pages to cook my supper.

2. PORTABLE DVD PLAYER. Cast Away starring Tom Hanks will already be in the machine (I’m a very organized packer). What I don’t learn from Dolphin Girl, I’ll pick up on in this educational movie. I plan to use scraps of metal from the rim of my suitcase to transmit electricity from the tropical lightening storms that will roll in from time to time. The electric current generated will power my player long enough to learn how Tom cooks crab beyond it’s runny, liquid-sand state; the next storm will allow me to see how he constructs a shelter and so forth, and so on.

3. FASHIONABLE ISLAND WEAR. It is imperative that one looks good while scavenging for food. My outfit consists of remnants of animal skin to cover the essentials. (Essentials for this girl include shoulders, chest, tummy, back and the skins will come to just above my knees.) Sports Illustrated will not be stopping by for the occasional photo shoot. I might be stranded, but I will not lose my dignity! Flips flops (not to be confused with “thongs”) will dress my feet and I’ll wear small dolphin earrings with swirly blue stones embedded in the silver body for a finishing touch. (In honor of my mentor…)

4. A FLASHLIGHT. Doesn’t this accompany all survival kits? I can only imagine how dark it will get without city streetlights! I’ll need to see my way at night in case I have business to take care of.

5. A PICK AND SHOVEL (TRAVEL SIZE). These are for digging in the soil to harvest ore and other earthen materials. From which I will make cooking tools and killing tools.

6. PAPER AND PENCIL. For two reasons: I will want to draw all the beautiful scenery and after spending some time on this island, I am bound to come up with all sorts of creative crafts. By recording the instructions, complete with illustrations, I will by able to publish a book, Carillisa’s Caribbean Crafts, upon return to the States. The royalties will more then compensate me for my trouble while stranded. (Check your local Deseret Book for specials and promotions).

7. SUNSCREEN AND LIP PROTECTANT. I have very fair skin and I care about sunspots and skin cancer. Besides, my lips will boil over and pop without it.

8. LEATHER STRAPS. I don’t know why, but they always seem to come in handy for those survival experts on Discovery Channel. They’re sure to be useful if my flip flops should fall apart and need new toe straps.

9. WATER SHOES. I will have to spear fish for my supper and in order to do that, it will be necessary to enter the ocean. I hate, HATE touching seaweed and craggly rocks with bare feet! My skin crawls just thinking about it. Water shoes will allow me to focus on fish and not the random materials weaving and sifting through my toes. Eeew!

10. HMMM...IT'S A TOSS UP BETWEEN WATER-PROOF MATCHES AND EARPLUGS. I think earplugs are going to have to win on this one. I can’t sleep without them and as everyone knows, sleep deprivation causes death almost as fast as starvation. Only in this case, there’s bound to be fruit and berries I can forage without needing a fire to cook. The loss of sleep is sure to kill me faster than anything else, except maybe a wandering, woman-eating monkey, but I’ll have a killing tool (see #5) to deal with that, but only after a good night’s rest.

You know, this whole “stranded on a desert island” scenario won’t be so bad. With the right gear and proper planning, you can turn any desperate situation into an upbeat and positive one! (Maybe I’ll write a book about that too…)

7 comments:

Peggy said...

Okay, seriously--I'm impressed. So far, I think you have the greatest chance of survival. Jenni will be trapped inside her black garbage bags and I'll be sick from eating nothing but chex mix and cherry coke! I can't wait to see what Jami comes up with!

Jenni said...

I'm SO coming to your book signing....but only if you're still wearing the animal skins.

Jami said...

And I hope your book is illustrated with all your crafty survival techniques, and of course, the now famous animal skin-wear. You should start your own line! Jenni will model.

Jenni said...

Oh, heck yeah! I watch America's Next Top Model (call me Miss J), and I'm going to have a smokin' tan...

Lees Everything Homemade said...

Maybe I had better come up with a Men's line for Matt, since he's being hijacked onto the island to a life of servitude. They will both be sporting the most modest Island Wear available. And with Jen's tan...they're sure to be a crowd pleaser!

Alishia said...

Oh Carillisa you just make me laugh! Very clever!

Loraine said...

OK, maybe you should be a writer instead of an artist. You crack me up.