The Ugliest Sweater Award

I was a "mother-helper" in Allie's english class last week. Funny how it came about actually...I volunteered while under the influence of a sleeping pill and the next morning I couldn't recall a thing about it. I was taken by complete surprise when the teacher replied to my unknown email and thanked me for my willingness to help! (Needless to say, I have asked Richard to keep all electronics and phones away from me after I take my pill at night to avoid any more involuntary acts of service). After I realized I had said I would help, I discovered that my assignment involved dressing up like an old person, an "Elder" from the book, The Giver. I was to wear all black and pull my hair up into a bun.

I did the best I could considering I wasn't really in the mood to do it all. I threw on some jeans, a black shirt and my old grayish/brown Finnish sweater (which is about four sizes to big these days). I stretched my short hair into a stub of a ponytail and showed up for duty. When I got there, all the other mothers were wearing black skirts and the mother I was to sit next to had done herself up all model-like so the contrast between the two of us was quite glaring. As I sat there talking to the pretty mom, Allison came in with her class. When she saw me she smiled, but as soon as she looked at my costume, her smile fell off her face.

"Mom, WHY did you wear that UGLY sweater?!"

"I'm supposed to look old"

"Yeah, but that is the ugliest sweater!" At this point her friend scolded her for being mean to her mother. The next five minutes went by as the other classes gathered in and settled down. And as if twice wasn't enough, Allison again embarrassingly asked me why I wore the ugliest sweater I owned. I just laughed because I knew just how pretty I didn't look.

I was completely surprised when we were all done and Allison wanted me to walk back with her to her classroom...HAND IN HAND with the Ugly Sweater Wearer!

(By the way: I really like my Finnish sweater!)