FFA

Laughing gas at the dentist office...





Let's start with the nose piece that "fits" snugly over your nose to allow proper inhalation. Mine never fits right. There is always a small gap that allows air to escape and jet stream right into my left eye. Always the left eye. I end up pinching the rubber in order to keep my eye ball from drying out. It can be quite uncomfortable.

And does anyone else ever lose their hearing while high? I can never hear the darn television and I end up cranking the volume in order to drown out the drilling sound of dentist tools. (Not that it matters whether or not I can hear anything, the light above my head always ends up being right in the way of the TV.)

My favorite is my never-ending, ever faithful need to pee within 15-20 minutes of initial gas intake. And usually during the drilling, thus postponing my potty break until a more convenient time (an hour later...). Or maybe it's the slight nausea and spinning that comes on when I take too many deep breaths. Of course, these are all very slight inconveniences compared to the bonuses involved. I can't do anything at the dentist without pumping up on happiness.

I caught myself actually laughing out loud once. The hygienists must be thoroughly entertained with all their gassy patients. Although, it occurs to me that perhaps the reason they're all so friendly is because the gas leaks through and permeates the entire office. I swear I can get high in there without ever hooking up.

I have been in enough times now that I know what kind of shows are the best on gas. And it's fairly obvious which ones were written while people were "extra happy". The real normal stuff makes no sense, but everything on VHS or MTV is like watching a movie with 3-D glasses on...a completely different dimension. But I will warn you not to watch I Love Lucy. I have NEVER liked that show, but the other day while trying to find something on daytime television, I ended up on I Love Lucy while I waited for my cleaning to be done. That show is laugh out loud funny when you're intoxicated! In fact, I have decided they probably wrote the script while on something. That whiny little red head actually made me laugh. In fact I ended up changing the channel in order to keep from embarrassing myself.

Laughing Gas. I can't survive the dentist's office without it and it always makes me wonder...will there ever come a time, perhaps in the hereafter, when we can "legally" get high anytime we want? Because I simply love the stuff! And perhaps it's because I have had way too many dental experiences. At this point in my mouth, I can't rinse warm water throughout my teeth without their sensitivity shooting me through the roof. If it weren't for the gas, I'd never see the dentist and continue to rot my teeth out. Praise be to Nitrous Oxide.